The whirlwind of academic monstrosity has abruptly lifted. Now, the still air is a mixture of relief and disaster. I need disaster relief.
Though I hate to admit it, ICP (introduction to communications principles) and FOM (fundementals of marketing), have surreptitiously drained me of my energy. Definately, it affected my walk with God. And through this projects, just like Andrew, I've gotten to know a few people a lot better.
The projects were characteristically last minute, so I guess more stress is expected. After this experience, I'm torn between being concerned for the entire group and focusing on just my part. Is there a line to draw between overloading myself with other's work, and concern for the success of the project? I've gotta trash it out in my head's areana.
Earlier today, I think I was too nasty toward Andrew. Hai~, sorry andrew, still can't escape human nature: pride. Think that I was very difficult cuz I felt a bit intimidated, cuz I felt belittled. I get defensive and calloused sometimes and reject others' views even though they are right. This has to change, I'm trying to change=)
Andrew, our friendship is a totallie equal one and the Lord's the lord of it=) Nobody is more important than anybody:) Even though we "argued" today, you're no less of a friend to me as I hope I'm no less of a friend to you, still the best!=)
Today I felt the sian syndrome. It's horrifying in a very subtle way... it's crptic cause eluded me for a while. But then I looked at my spiritual life and saw that I was straying away from God. Tonight, just now actually, I went away from the bustle of - chaotically perceived - my house, to the peace of the void deck to do my quiet time. My creativity was in the red (was thinkin about Xmas Outreach), I din know wad to feel, I was lost, and.. I don't noe... I just needed God.
His message to me was that if I honor Him, He'll honor me as well. And that I was claiming too much of His glory. God really speaks to people, I just felt Him saying that directly to me... ah, it's just really both thrilling and comforting to know that God is communicating and talking to you.=) But, I'm itching all over now.. esp my leg... damn mosquitos. haha=P
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haiZ~ was writing this blog half way when parents came in. it was like 130. Dad always wants things done immediately. I guess it's for my mom. But frankly, I don't see the point of doing something in the middle of the night... was pretty pissed. I am pissed. But I rarely manage to sustain it. Sometimes I wish I could feel anger longer so that I have time to express myself. But usually after thinking it though, things just are not worth being angry over. If this is the case, am I simply bottling things up? Dang, can't help it.
oh yea.. this just in (yesterday actually): my curfew is 930pm. now ain't that fantabulus?
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Think i'll write more on this subject.. but it's late already, and don't wanna be late for Loretta's lesson~! niteZ
1 comment:
i should think it's rather a good thing to be able to control ur anger. but in this case.. seems like ur anger dissipates pretty fast huh? anger and angry words causes more disputes and upsets ppl. expressin ur emotions in a negative way wun be a good thing either. so i think u're a great guy. Really. (though of coz, i dunno u personally) but hey, im sure im right about this one. =) stay happy and all the best for ur exams.
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